I had a nightmare last night. I know we all do at times. I woke up and fell back asleep into the same dream. I have PTSD due to childhood traumas. Frustrates me that I still have to deal with it all. I've been through enough therapy for now....hasn't stopped these crazy dreams yet. They seem real and I am semi awake...know exactly where I am...just can't wake myself up...or "get out"! The "man" was holding me down and I couldn't breath or scream. The "lady' didn't seem to realize how terrified I was and seemed to go about her business. When I did awake or "get out" my heart was racing as usual. It only took a few moments for me to realize I was safe and it was just the stupid PTSD again. Someday I hope they leave me alone forever. I pray a lot...ask for the Angels to be present. Helps many times. Sometimes I wonder if there is a way to truly make it stop. It is a form of prison in a way. Little things....rituals I create to help me realize what is real and when I am not awake and it is just the PTSD. Wonder if other survivors of child abuse do the same thing. Praying for a Free night tonight. May sleep be peace for you all!!!
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